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friends with benefits in bed

Beware of Serious Bedroom Eyes

No-strings-attached sex, friends with benefits, fuck buddies… there are lots of names for it, but not a lot of ways to successfully pull it off. Men seem pretty capable of navigating the waters of a relationship based on humping. Women are another story. Even with strict intentions of hooking up and nothing more, they’re known for turning psychotic without warning. There’s a valuable bit of information that can help when it comes to navigating the dangerously sexy path of casual sex.

Is there a crazy gene that only women possess while men are immune to it? Come to find out, there is a probable biological reason why females scale walls to break into your house while you’re sleeping and scroll through your texts to find romantic rivals. A specific hormone can be pinpointed for some of this “bitches be crazy” behavior.

Oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” is secreted when a woman has an orgasm—this is the same hormone that helps them bond with a newborn while breastfeeding. While this is heartwarming for bonding babies and mommies, in a fuck buddy situation it’s a man’s worst nightmare. While you’re putting on your pants, her body’s being flooded with hormones to mate for life. Shit just went from no-strings-attached to a hog-tying gone wrong.

Men secrete this hormone too during orgasm, but it wears off quickly and testosterone helps counteract it. This explains men uttering “I love you” while bumping uglies, but the “I don’t know how to tell you to leave without being a dick” afterward. In women, estrogen enhances oxytocin’s effects. This long lasting biological brainwashing is what leads to them potentially boiling your bunny after they’re spurned post-coitus.

While the Feminist Revolution of the ‘60s empowered women to screw whomever they want, whenever they want, this pesky hormonal attachment makes it damn near impossible for a woman to do just that. Next time you consummate a booty call, be sure to haul ass outta there before you catch your not-so-special someone admiring the way the moonlight dances off your skin. That crazy switch could flip at any time in a post-orgasmic haze—and if it doesn’t, then I guess you weren’t that great in bed.