man and woman vagina bacon and fisting

Vagina, Bacon & Fisting

One of our readers recently shared that many of the tweets on Twitter included the words vagina, fisting or bacon. Immediately we began to salivate. And as we licked our chops, it wasn’t clear which word was creating this reaction. We were so intrigued by this amazing combination, that we didn’t want to verify the validity of his statement.

Vagina along with bacon and fisting almost resemble a symbiotic relationship of superheros. If you only had two of those three, the world would still be a better place. Fisting and bacon = good. Fisting and vagina = great. Vagina and bacon = bang me till I die.

Of course, without vagina, none of this would be possible. It’s like having to give thanks to vagina at the music or film awards. The actor would be saying “thanks to Joe my manager, and Sarah my beautiful wife, and, i may be forgetting someone here…” Yes you fool, give a shout out to Vagina!

Fisting seems like such a strong word, and parallels the whole “tough love” idea. If you’re fisting someone, you’re definitely enjoying it more than they are. Fingering is cool, but when you start fist pumping, the girl recovering from your tour de force is yelling to herself, “why meeeeee?” Unless she thinks elephants make better husbands than men, you’d have to be drunk or high to think your fist belongs in there. So keep the banging below the knuckles and your partner will live to thank you.

Bacon is so freaking gooood, it may even persuade the most macho of men to give your vagina a good tongue lashing. If your man is squeamish about eating you out, cook up some bacon strips and rub them into your love nest. Don’t worry, bacon has plenty of B vitamins, zinc and selenium (so there’s no issue about your sanity because now you’re a health nut). If he doesn’t go down on you in 3 seconds, we’ll buy you a beer for trying.

So thanks to the internet and Twitter, and thanks to all the sick tweeters that made this one possible. I hope I didn’t leave anyone out? Oh, yes, thanks to vagina!