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Spend less time fighting and more time humping

Stop Fighting and Start Humping

Last night I had amazing make-up sex and it got me thinking… Why is this so great and how soon can we do it again?

Now let me just clarify something. While most girls are bat shit crazy and like to start fights for no reason, I’m more of the laid-back normal type. That said, I do like me some make-up sex.

After studying the matter extensively I’ve concluded that the reason it’s so great is simple. The heat that is generated when you’re pissed off, the release of that anger and the warmth of the apology (particularly when you’re right), is all remarkably conducive to a good fuck. Especially if you haven’t been touched in a few days.

But none of this can happen if you can’t get past the fight in a timely and energy-efficient manner.┬áNot to worry. I’m here to help.

We all know a little fighting can be healthy. It’s a scientific fact that repressing your feelings causes, among other things, cancer and acne. And fighting in moderation has been proven to spice things up a bit. The key things to remember are that nobody’s perfect and couples that don’t fight are annoying and boring.

Yes, these tips might be difficult to apply. But whether it’s his habit of leaving the toilet seat up or his tendency to crash your car into parked objects, I guarantee if you follow my advice you will get what you want.

Here’s what you do to hump in less time:

  • Stay calm. It’s more attractive.
  • Don’t raise your voice. Studies show that if you raise your voice, he’ll raise his. And who needs your neighbors looking at you funny when they see you?
  • Listen to him. Don’t interrupt. If you give a little you’ll get a lot.
  • Stick to saying things like “it makes me feel” rather than “you always…” If you’re talking about your feelings, he won’t feel like you’re blaming him.
  • Start crying.┬áMen are defenseless when it comes to crying.

If my advice fails you, and you find yourself in a relationship with chronic conflicts, maybe you need to stop chasing the Charlie Sheens of the world and get some therapy yourself!