couple pretending to have sex with someone else

Pretend Sex With Someone Else

Face it, we’re never going to end up with someone we want to come with. Unless a woman camps out on Sunset Blvd. with a pair of binoculars and a stun-gun, there’s almost no chance she’ll ever bed Gerard Butler. Instead, she’ll end up with Joe Douche-bag who wears his socks while doing it, farts under the covers, and calls her a filthy whore – and not in the good way.

So why not imagine banging someone else during sex? In 2009, researchers at the University of Vermont surveyed 178 sexually active adults and found a whopping 84% admitted they fantasized about having sex with someone else while making love.

It works wonders to put someone else’s head on the body that’s boning you! You’ll need a vivid imagination to change your surroundings. Go with jeopardy and impending doom to help when you’re being handled like a rocket launcher. Imagine for a second that the smelly and cramped bedroom is an abandoned warehouse in a post-apocalyptic city, and you only have minutes to live before giant aliens burst through the door and kill everyone.

This might be tricky to accomplish considering who you currently date (or tolerate). If your lover is a big talker or heavy breather, this could knock you out of fantasy land. If that happens, try positions where it’s easier not to look directly at your partner. Get on all fours, hit it from the back, and close your eyes.

Sometimes you can ask to keep things quiet. How else are you supposed to imagine a refined Shakespearean British accent, long wavy hair, and an innocent too-proper disposition?

One scenario that always does the trick is pretending you’re some kind of sex expert, and your partner is a prudish, stiff-upper-lipped missionary type that you’re corrupting for the first time. The setting is in the past when people used long sentences, drank tea with a handle, and listened to classical music.

But again, it really depends on your mood. Are you feeling dominant or submissive? Frisky or romantic? Filthy or docile? You can make it work for any situation. Just keep this technique our little secret when you’re getting banged – for no good reason!