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older guy picking up younger women at a nightclub

Picking up Younger Women

If you want to be scoring with college girls, do your dating homework first. There is a big misconception that older men can’t get younger women–not true. If you’re a balding man on the wrong side of 40, don’t bother pitching the sexy college grad unless you make serious bank or model for Bowflex. However, if you’ve still got a few prime years put on reserve, don’t let a lack of biological attraction send you home masturbating when you’ve got evolution on your side. The Telegraph recently stated in a report that men who marry younger women tend to live longer.

There is nothing in this world more confusing than a chick in her 20’s. The truth is, younger girls tend to prefer older guys that are mature, seasoned, and wiser than the average 20-something frat boy who can’t keep his Jack in the box, which busts after one yank of the crank anyway. But don’t forget, you have stereotypes to shed as well. Be careful walking the fine line between being the disheveled creeper in the corner that’s staring way too much and the distinguished older gentlemen exuding confidence, subtly sipping his Scotch on the rocks. If you can pass that test and still want to nail a younger woman, there are a few tools to keep in your belt:

Make a reasonable age cut-off, depending on how old you are. If you’re younger than 45, perhaps no women younger than 28. You could be a stallion and push for 25, but never go younger than 21. That’s starting to look like incest and you don’t want to look like a cradle-robbing old man.

Keep it current. the captain of the cheer leading squad is probably not going to get your Monty Python jokes. Actually, just avoid referencing humor completely, it can be outdated and your age is what we’re trying to ignore. Log on to Perez once in a while, or Pitchfork.com for conversation starters.

Beware of the entourage. Young chicks tend to travel in packs like velociraptors. So, if her friends don’t dig you, it’s one more drink and off to the strip club. Eventually they are going to run into the bathroom like a drunken witches coven and talk about you. You need their stamp of approval before you’re allowed to stamp her from behind.

Be confident. Take a seat AT the bar, not in a dark booth in the corner. Give a good impression of yourself. Flex out your chest and chub up your penis. Do the George Clooney and raise your eyebrows. That sex machine’s got a doctorate in the soft science of approaching younger women.

There’s no reason you shouldn’t party with the young-n-hornies as opposed to sitting on your couch watching re-runs of Nick at Nite. As long as you play it smart, your night will be nothing short of perky nipples and tight labia.