If there’s anything we have learned from the latest embarrassing escapades of celebrities, athletes and politicians, it’s to keep your clothes on. At least, when you’re sending pictures over the internet.
This should be obvious. Unfortunately, even for the world’s richest and most recognizable, it’s hard to turn down that booty call snapshot when you’re sporting a woody (or, a her-ection. We don’t discriminate.)
Anthony Weiner, we’re talking to you buddy. Twitter? Really? How will we ever overcome the irony of your last name and the classic bulge-in-gray-undies photo? And Rihanna, although most of us thanked our lucky nuggets your raunchy mobile pics to ex-boyfriend Chris Brown leaked, we think you deserve better than that. Like, at least a two-page spread in Playboy. (Meanwhile, to Chris Brown: Yeah, we’re sure it was accidental that a bathroom-shot of your lower-limb tripod reached millions. Preesh.) Plus Brett Favre, Ron Artest…the celebrity “Wow, you are REALLY naked” list is as long as my…well, you get the point.
At least Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus have enough class to flash their camel toe live when they’re on stage, teetering on four-inch heels, or oozing out of a limo, drunk on Whipped Cream Vodka. I mean come on, it’s not like you see pictures of Cloris Leachman’s snatch all over PerezHilton. Why? Because this is a classic mistake made by juvenile, immature nymphos that classy dames like Cloris avoid by getting their nude bods sketched while sailing on the Titanic.
The bottom line, folks: If you’re a public figure and you post your pubic figure, it’s going to get out. And, subsequently, get others off. So unless you’re planning on making a couple bucks off your risqué exposé, stick to Polaroids. I know where you can get some pretty cheap film.