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two girls and a guy how to have a threesome

How to Have a Threesome

Sex and chicken wings are a lot alike. Actually they’re not, but someone’s always licking fingers after they’re done.

Threesomes! Those are like a greasy meal with sauce and legs all over the place. Who’s having those? According to Cosmopolitan, 10% of woman have confirmed they have been involved in a threesome, and 33% of men confirmed it is their number one fantasy.

Inviting a new partner to the bedroom is like slapping in a third team member in a tag-team wrestling match, everybody screams when it happens. If it’s so good, then why do most couples whisper about threesomes like they’re sacrilegious? Sex is its own religion and praying with more people is always more effective.

If a couple is to engage in sexual activity with another individual outside of their relationship, the following precautions must be taken to ensure maximum pleasure and minimal awkward situations.

1. She’s A’ight – if there’s a party in your bed, make sure the girl cumming is attractive enough for both of you, but not more attractive than the female partner. The guy can’t risk a mister softee after this visitor signs out, and female insecurity has long-term effects worse than radiation.

2. Home Court Advantage – the home team always has the advantage. Your bed your rules. Maintain control of the situation at all times so that neither you nor your lover feel uncomfortable. The lab rat in between you two is just a groupie waiting to get screwed back stage; you guys are the rock stars.

3. Beyond Sixth Grade – there are no sleepovers. Even if everyone in the room was just playing a naked game of “ouch, ouch you’re on my hair!”, that doesn’t give the foreigner a green card. A study conducted in Portland found 60% of its participants were game for a threesome, so long as they didn’t have to see the third member after the deed was done.

Of course a buffet this adventurous can reveal some unforeseen turn-ons, but that’s the point. Maybe the guy finds he enjoys rubbing one out while his girl gets eaten like take-out. Perhaps his girl squirts like Old Faithful while 699ing. Whatever happens, have fun, mind the guidelines and under no circumstances, ever invite a guest over from Craigslist. I learned that the hard way after opening my front door to find one of my Mother’s best friends…