Some men think they can spread their girlfriend’s legs as easily as opening the fridge to grab a beer. If that’s you, your buddy should slap you for being the cock block. Remember your girlfriend still needs to be turned on to put out on the regular. With a little ingenuity, she’ll be begging to sleep with you again and again.
Men in relationships face a completely different set of obstacles than their single counterparts since she already knows what you bring to the table. You’ve got to step up your game up a notch and get creative. Looking for ways to do your girlfriend on a regular basis? Follow these tips to get your woman in the sack even after she’s watched you down 40 chicken wings before dinner:
- Play dress up. You can’t hide who you are, but you can always pretend to be someone else with a little role-playing. So throw on a cop uniform, bust out the handcuffs, and tell her to spread ‘em. Better yet, dress up like a vampire—you know she loves that shit. Speaking of vampires…
- Buy her a vampire novel. Vampire books are our generation’s version of trashy romance novels. There’s something about the romantic unavailability of the sparkling undead that gets her juices flowing. Why not let him do all of the grunt work?
- Do something romantic. It may seem obvious, but it’s a time-tested panty dropper. Hopefully you set the bar pretty low in the beginning, so it won’t be hard to surprise her with something nice. Grand gestures aren’t necessary—just buy her flowers, have dinner ready when she gets home, or send her a nice email from work. Let her know you’re thinking about her when she isn’t around, and she’ll be more likely to let you know she’s thinking about getting it on.
- Prove your worth as a life-long mate. This one is a little tougher, because you have to play to your own strengths. If you’re good with your hands, then put together the shelf she just bought from IKEA. If you’re good with kids, get your niece over to your place ASAP. Show your girlfriend one thing you excel in, and hopefully she’ll forget that you’re only slightly above average in the bedroom.
- Make her laugh. A recent Men’s Health poll shows that 77% of women think that a good sense of humor is an important quality in a potential mate. Make her laugh, and chances are she’ll return for a second helping.
The good news is that she’s already decided that you’re worthy of sex, and that being with you is worth not having sex with other guys. Sure, seducing your woman might take more work than you thought. But just think about the crazy things you did to get laid when you were single, and consider yourself lucky she’s stuck around this long.