drinking on a date

Drinking While Dating

Is there a more electric feeling than the anticipation of a run-in with the mega-babe from work? After all the weeks of covering erections and missed punch lines; not to mention, the time wasted actually trying to look good. It all leads up to this night. You’re meeting up for drinks. This is it.

Best case scenario: you’re meeting the woman of your dreams. Good case scenario: you’re going to bang this chick on the regular. Worst case scenario: you realize she’s a mega-psycho and asks to wear your skin. There’s pressure and expectations. You look to the fully stocked bar for sustenance. A heavy beer and whiskey chaser is the usual prescription for stress, but that’s NOT the answer. Millionaire Matchmaker may be the furthest thing from real dating, but Patti Stanger’s two drink maximum is right on. Here’s why getting drunk often leads to dating disasters.

First off, guys turn into freaking maniacs on the bottle. Do you really want to pound shots? A study done at San Diego State University actually concluded that drinking while casually dating someone not in your NDG (Natural Drinking Group), increased the risk of drinking to harmful levels. Basically, depending on your personality, you could end up socking the shit out of some dude for accidentally breathing on you. Or if you’re more sensitive, get all emotional and confess your love after 68 minutes of knowing this chick. Those are just two of the quickest roads to Masturbation City (population: a lot). The whole night turns into serial status updates on Facebook, destroying your credibility. Savor your beverages and keep the drinks at one per hour.

But let’s be positive and say the date went well. You’re going home together, yet you still neglected Miss Stanger’s two drink minimum and somehow managed to pull it off. You are now running the gauntlet of foreplay under the influence. Whiskey Dick might decide to make an appearance. Also, less frequent occurrences include passing out and/or vomiting on your date. Loss of bowel control can empty the bed as well. Say you somehow avoid all of that, but hear the dreaded “No, not that hole!” Your hubris landed you in a messy situation.

Play it safe and mind the booze. Sobriety ensures neither of you ending up drunk and the best possible chance of the good case scenario playing out. Bad dates can be avoided, embarrassment cannot…