Keep It To Yourself

Keep It To Yourself

It’s always amazing to see a guy share a completely inappropriate thought with his girlfriend or wife. But some guys think “We’re so close that I feel like I can share anything with you.” Wrong. Some ideas are better saved for your buddies over a beer.

To help some of you fellas who need friendly advice, we’re assembling a list of Dirty Ideas You Should Keep To Yourself. If you make sure to never share these ideas with your girl, we promise you’ll be better off.

#1. “What if we have a threesome with your girlfriend?”
What you should do with this idea is keep it to yourself. The only threesome you’re likely to get away with is both your hands and a bottle of olive oil.

#2. “You’re getting fat. You should lose some weight.”
What you meant to say here is that the both of you should start exercising together. Think of the upside though. If your girl is getting fat, you won’t have to worry about other guys staring at her. If you’re the jealous type, you can buy her McDonald’s on your way home every night.

#3. “Listen honey, all guys cheat. It’s how men are built.”
If you’re this aspiring actor, your first leading role can be on the Cheaters show. If you’re not an actor, stay away from this one.

#4. “Wow that waitress had a nice body!”
Call a beer buddy for this important announcement, or just keep it to yourself.

We hope this helps. If you have been on the receiving end of these kinds of chivalrous thoughts, let us know if we left anything out. Also, if you’re guilty of sharing “Keep to Yourself” thoughts like these, we want to hear what you said and what you should have said.