According to last year’s Journal of Sexual Medicine study, we’re all having more sex, in more positions, and at younger ages than ever before. But the big surprise for me was the dramatic increase in the proportion of women who had tried anal sex. A similar 1992 survey concluded that about 16 percent of women between the ages of 18 – 24 had tried it. In 2010, that number had jumped to 40 percent!
However, the study does not show that anal sex equals more orgasms. So, when the thought of your guests coming in from the back door’s got you shaking your head, WHY are so many women trying it from behind?
We may never get to the bottom of what’s caused this huge wave of ass play. Was it the rise of J Lo and her fly girl booty? Are our asses evolving into a size that’s more boner-friendly? Does Sir Mix-a-Lot have something to do with this? Or are we really just liking it more and more?
We’re not here to tell you whether you should say yes to “back that ass up” and bite down on a leather strap. Butt… if you ARE thinking of anal sex, and you’re not a pro from behind, this beginner’s guide to ass sex is for you.
1. Evacuate! If you have the foresight to plan your backyard party, be sure to hit the ladies room before the guests show up.
2. Drinks. This is optional. Think of it as an old school analgesic. This will also help you both mind a lot less if you don’t have time for number 1 (above).
3. Lube. Don’t try to be a hero, and this isn’t Fear Factor. Without lube, your night will end with tears, Tourrettes-like name-calling, and blue balls. Look for a brand with numbing agents for her pleasure (or less pain).
4. Start with a toe in the water. Well, finger actually. A lot of men start with the pinky finger until they upgrade to the thumb. Ask him to ease into it and see how that feels. Ask him to double, then triple the digits, until you’re ready for the big gun. And go slow.
5. Breathe and RELAX. When we tense up, our muscles including the sphincter, contract. Breathe in through the nose, slowly, and out the mouth. If it helps to visualize the parting of the Red Sea, go for it.
6. If you do get there without punching your guy in the face, ENJOY IT. If you’re trying it with someone you love, hit reverse a coupla’ times – a few million wouldn’t hurt.
7. If you really hate it, stop. Just because everyone else is in the oil business, doesn’t mean you have to. If your man is a keeper, he’ll love you for trying it.