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Couple having sex in the kitchen

Keep Sex Out of The Bedroom

Sex can get awfully boring. You go out for a decent dinner, and then you see a mediocre movie. Later on, you have some routine sex that rivals putting together a TV stand. The night was supposed to be approaching a climax, but you got blue-balled in the numerous formalities of your mundane life. It’s time to change that.

You need to think outside the bedroom. And by “think”, I mean screw. And by screw, I mean a lot! Sure, the bedroom is for sleeping and sex, but the thrill of knocking boots shouldn’t always be done where you snore for 8 hours.

Sex In The Kitchen
Eating is almost as fun as sex, so start there. I’m not saying bang in the fridge, but huffing and puffing over the kitchen table mid-dinner should really put some meat in the loaf. But let’s leave the house.

Sex In The Car
So, you’re in the car. Certainly the backseat’s no stranger to a little bump and grind. But it could be winter and the leather is cold. The front has heated seats. Ladies be advised, throwing a leg over the center console and straddling your driver has been known to cause bruises and orgasms. Of course, you can always shift into high gear and do it while driving. Just make sure the driver can see the road, and all moving parts are well lubricated.

Sex At The Office
Now we’re at work, and f_cking in the workplace has many positives, unless you work in a team – that could get weird. Sneak your lover in after hours and put in some overtime sex at the office. Hell, sneak them in during work and close the blinds. How’s that for family benefits?

Sex At The Movies
Remember that mediocre movie you saw last weekend? Well, this weekend try Sex at The Movies, starring yourself! As soon as the action is lost onscreen, pick it up in your seat. “There was gum on your chair? Oh, that’s terrible. Here, hike up your skirt and sit on my lap.”

Are you getting the point? Just think of a place you wouldn’t ever have sex and do it there. The setting isn’t what’s important; it’s the amount of adventure and excitement. The chance of getting caught – or worse, arrested – raises the stakes. Go on, get out of your comfort zone and take her out for a ride…